I fell off the wagon...

Soooo... The holidays did nothing for my weight loss adventure and only made things worse. A major set back was my great grandmother passing away a few days before Christmas. I love that lady so much and she will truly be missed. For those that know me, know that I am an emotional eater... I eat when I'm happy, but even more so when I'm sad. At this point I was a little bit of both. My grandmother was in a lot of pain and I wanted so much to see her feeling better, but I had a very very very hard time letting her go. She was and is such an example and inspiration to me. She was the energizer bunny that we thought would never stop, so when she did, it was hard, and found myself lost. Needless to say, I ate a lot. They chose to wait till after Christmas to have her funeral.

So first came Christmas Eve came and we had a lunch with Chase's family and dinner with mine (full course meals mind you) then Christmas day came and we had a nice breakfast as a family then a buffet style dinner with the extended family, dessert included and all sorts of treats and soda and so on... Then my Aunt Val came down for our grandma's funeral and the week she was down here we got together almost everyday, and there needs to be food when family is together... Then came Clayton's birthday- More birthday cake! And then New Years Eve and New Years day then the last day my Aunt was in town we of course all got together, lots of food included. Needless to say I not only didn't loose weight, I put a few pounds!

After Feeling and seeing the shape I was in, I fell into a deeper funk. Then I was offered $500 if I could loose 46 lbs by the first of July. I didn't take it serious at first, giving up on the fight I had started for so many things- my survival, my happiness, my health, my perfect me. As I started to look at myself and see the state I am in, I decided to hop back on the wagon and try again. Not just to "win" $500 but because I am now desperate to feel they way I've longed to feel for so long. So I have been strong and true to my commitment for 5 days, eating smaller and healthier portions and working out every morning. I hope and pray I can be strong and committed to changing and continuing on with my fight to be me!

It came!

My Turbo Jam came last night and I did my first workout this morning! WOW! That's all I can say... I was a little worried this was going to be a bit like P90X (which I didn't mind doing but it just seemed redundant and I really hate floor exercises) but it wasn't at all! It is pumped up and fun and I can definitely feel more of a burn than I ever have with running! I am so excited!
It also came with meal suggestions, a lot of which I think my kids and husband will eat as well, which means I can cook the same meal for everyone! I have about 50 lbs to loose and feel if I stick to the plan and fight for it that I will succeed!
I can honestly say I am very excited… I feel that after I conquer this battle in my life, that things will start to change for me and fall into place. And the anticipation for a better me is giving me motivation to keep on going! I can’t wait to see what tomorrows workout will be like!

It shipped...

My Turbo Jam shipped last night and it should be here by next Wednesday, if not sooner! I am excited and ready to start this fight!

My fight begins with me

I started this blog as a piece of motivation... as of right now I have not invited anyone to follow or even mentioned to anyone that I've started this blog. It is something for me to have to keep track of what progress I might make in my life and a place to write down my thoughts and feelings.

As of today I feel alone and pathetic. My main concern with my life right now is that I am obese- I'm not healthy... I'm a chubby mama with a lot of weight to loose. It is affecting my family life and my ability to get down and play with my kids, or to have energy to do more than sit and watch TV with my husband. I have little to no motivation- I have been running for weeks and have yet to loose anything, pounds or inches- I have counted calories, used apps on my phone to try and help and have even tried having competitions with friends and family to use as motivation and nothing but an achy body and a depressed me.

I'm more ready than I have ever been for that big change because I feel that with it will come more than just a weight loss journey... I believe I will find myself again, that relationships will change, my attitude will change, that I will change and be the person I have always wanted to be.

I purchased Turbo Jam to start with... I did a lot of research and looking into programs and I feel that this program will suit me well... I want a work out that is fun and enjoyable and it also guarantees me 10 lbs and 10 inches in 30 days and I need that so I can at least fit into my jeans before it gets to chilly to continue to wear my fat girl capris. I hope that seeing that change in my body will motivate me to move forward and to fight for my health and that as I do this, I will fight for more and become someone amazing.